*Clever Title*

Okay, here we go again. I mean seriously… this is what my third? fourth? restart…?

I say this every time, but this time it’s the one. I can really feel it.

I truly wanted to start blogging when I was young. I noticed I had a horrible memory and I LOVE memories. That’s why I take so many pictures and videos. When members in my family ask me about things, I’ve often already forgotten. Even in instances of something happening a few weeks ago… it’s very sad. I tried to combat this by journaling… but clearly it never took off. Then I thought… I’m on my computer every day anyway and I love typing… but yeah… nothing.

In Oct 2021, I deployed. It was my first as a mom and my first as a wife. Me and V were “together” during my first deployment, but that’s its own story for another time. Anyway, I wanted to start journaling then. I wanted to have a place where I talked about my deployment in hopes one day my son would read it. Who knows what he will be into… maybe he won’t even care, but I’d rather give him the choice.

I met a friend while I was deployed. We will call him LDB. He was so encouraging and supportive of everything I ever talked to him about. We became very close and talked about everything. It was a great chance to let off steam and truly release some demons.

One day we were discussing our life dreams. I told him a farfetched dream is to write a book. yeah right… with my track record first draft would never be finished. He told me to go for it. Unfortunately, during my deployment my job did not allow me the time to write much. I had a lot of responsibilities and some that weren’t worth explaining. My typical day to day was always the same, so I told myself. “When I get back for sure this time.”

Fast forward to June 2022. I’m broke. I have a lot of upcoming expenses. I’m drinking too much. My life looks life it is falling apart. Why? Literally no idea.

I woke up one day hung over and I said: “that is enough. this is it.”

So, it may be June, but today starts my new year. So, stick around if you choose to see the changes I’m making.